A lot has happened in the last couple of months. Some good. Mostly bad. I can’t share very much of it, but what I can, I will.
First and foremost, I’m building an exoskeleton for my mind.
Turns out, I need to do this because I’ve got a brain leak. My therapist suggested we look at adult ADHD last week. I’ve been doing that all week and the results — while not official yet — seem pretty conclusive. I think it might be good news.
Something happened when I became a full time writer. Something good and something bad.
The good thing was that I didn’t have to worry about a day job any longer. After wrestling my publication rights back from the publisher, I had the whole thing in my lap to do with as I needed. I could crank out the new work without worrying about whether or not the publisher was going to mess it up. Everything was supposed to be great!
The bad thing was I lost something that I didn’t know I needed — structure. When I didn’t have the pressure from a day job keeping me moving — keeping me focused on my writing in those few moments in the day that I could beg, borrow, or steal, I didn’t write. I was barely able to work at all. That structure kept me focused, kept me moving. It was the glass that kept the water in my tank. Without it, the water just flowed away leaving dead fish and bits of plant life in its wake.
My initial reaction was “Oh, no. I’ve got to get a schedule? Make to-do lists? Didn’t I leave that all behind? I’m an artist! That sounds horrible. When do I get some time for me?”
The reality is that I know that schedules and to-do lists and status updates work for me. At the beginning of the year, I was working on one. For the first three months of 2014, I was cranking!
Then I had a kid in the hospital, twice. Lost my recharging trip to BaltiCon for the second year in a row. Fell into a crippling depression of my own. My wife went on long term disability and then she went into the hospital for a week.
My world crumbled around me and I stopped using the tools that worked. It just didn’t seem worth the effort. The depression convinced me that there was really no point.
I’ve been digging my way up since August. September was iffy, but I got stronger as the month went along. When my therapist suggested ADHD, I think I was ready to hear it.
So I’m building an exoskeleton for my mind. With a calendar synced to my phone, with To-do lists linked to the calendar, and with a daily and weekly schedule that recognizes the strength in a good plan and the need to plan for the down time I need to recover, I think the rest of this year is going to be spectacular.
Just this week, I’ve gotten the galley proofs for Double Share shipped to me and have almost finished the conversion of Captain’s Share. Owner’s Share is on deck for next week and so is publishing South Coast in ebook by the end of the month.
I have a plan. I have some tools. I have learned a lot about what works — and what doesn’t.
Second, I need to stay with it. The exoskeleton won’t give me much support if I don’t keep it on. It’s like wearing glasses. I can see a lot better as long as I wear them.
Third, it’s my birthday. My gift to myself is one you’ll all get to enjoy – a renewed commitment to getting this old work off the desk and getting some new work in the pipeline.
Stay tuned. This could get fun.
